One year ago today, at 10 pm, at the beach, in dark, cold, murky ocean water... I was baptized!
WOW. I was reflecting on it earlier, with hopes that I would find something really cool to write about and say something about my walk with God. Well... So much has happened, that I almost feel like I don't have something really specific to report!
I would say the thing that has changed in me the most has been my understanding of the holy Spirit. I am still learning constantly, but i think that is the change I have expierienced-- I am learning! I am listening, and although I have times where God has to come in and remind me to listen...
But I would definitely say that the biggest thing I have learned is how to listen. And why praying daily is so important, and why reading is so important... and, God has showed me how amazing life can be when I make my life all about Him!
I have had some really down weeks, but in the end God manages to bring me back to Him. The amazing people I am surrounded with keep me in check. They are an amazing support system. Without CIA to encourage me and to surround me I would not be accountible to living for God, and most likely would fall away.
My change of heart and mind was not instant after my baptism. But I see a change in myself, and I feel God's presence around me more than I ever have before.
It seems so simple, and it's not all that interesting of a one-year report post-baptism, but, how much more epic can it be that I can FEEL God with me? And realizing that with Him, I can overcome? That is what I have to report after a year, and I am happy to be able to say that!
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
-Jeremiah 29:11
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Rest For The Weary
Something I am not good at for sure is getting enough rest. Sometimes it's a stupid waste of energy, like watching TV late, hanging out late. Sometimes its studying, sometimes its not time managing so I can't rest because everything has to get done... But usually God comes in and forces rest upon when I forget to rest.
This topic was inspired talking to a friend tonight, someone much like me who would rather die than admit they can't handle something. Not that my friend can't-- they are very capable and smart and can handle heavy study work loads mixed in with the other crap. But, one thing I know I certainly forget is that what you can handle is not a measure of how strong you are, and what you have to take a break from is not a measure of how weak you are.
I feel guilty resting sometimes. Sometimes, I just don't want to give up the fight, I don't like how it looks to other people. Failing a class, backing out of events, planning meetings, ect ect, so on and so on. How is it responsible to say "no I can't handle it" or "no, I have too much going on?" What about me time? Me and God time?
Usually what happens when I get to caught up in overworking myself I hit a breaking point and come crawling to God begging Him to free me. And the guilt sets in there too, because geez I've been so non-stop I haven't prayed in days. What really gets me-- is when I don't even have that much going on and I'm falling apart. How unacceptable of me, some people have real problems and I can't juggle a few classes and CIA events?
Oh what a messed up way of thinking. Yet I do that often. Sometimes, I have to realize it is okay to say no. It's okay to leave it. It's okay to seek God, to seek meaning, and to take a break from the world and all the worldly things. The world will be there tomorrow. In a week, in 6 months, in a year, it'll still be there.
And you know what? I'm not a failure because I needed to take a break. You reader, are not a failure, are not inadequate, are no too immature or responsible enough, because you need a time out. However long that time out is. I am not the best example of believeing this all the time. But I know it is true.
Whose standards do you live up to? God's. And he hasn't rejected you because you couldn't handle it. He hasn't rejected you because you needed Him. He loves me! He loves you! And rest is OKAY. A break is OKAY. You only fail when you give up. Resting is not equal to giving up. Finding something new does not equal giving up.
Someone, remind me to read my own words the next time I am stuck in no-rest-for-the-weary, I-can't handle-school-stress-or-my-life mode. By that point, rest is long overdue.
This is me sharing what I have learned, in hopes to remind myself of it, and in hopes of sharing my struggles to anyone who may think they are alone.
Matthew 11:28-- "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Jeremiah 31:25-- "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."
This topic was inspired talking to a friend tonight, someone much like me who would rather die than admit they can't handle something. Not that my friend can't-- they are very capable and smart and can handle heavy study work loads mixed in with the other crap. But, one thing I know I certainly forget is that what you can handle is not a measure of how strong you are, and what you have to take a break from is not a measure of how weak you are.
I feel guilty resting sometimes. Sometimes, I just don't want to give up the fight, I don't like how it looks to other people. Failing a class, backing out of events, planning meetings, ect ect, so on and so on. How is it responsible to say "no I can't handle it" or "no, I have too much going on?" What about me time? Me and God time?
Usually what happens when I get to caught up in overworking myself I hit a breaking point and come crawling to God begging Him to free me. And the guilt sets in there too, because geez I've been so non-stop I haven't prayed in days. What really gets me-- is when I don't even have that much going on and I'm falling apart. How unacceptable of me, some people have real problems and I can't juggle a few classes and CIA events?
Oh what a messed up way of thinking. Yet I do that often. Sometimes, I have to realize it is okay to say no. It's okay to leave it. It's okay to seek God, to seek meaning, and to take a break from the world and all the worldly things. The world will be there tomorrow. In a week, in 6 months, in a year, it'll still be there.
And you know what? I'm not a failure because I needed to take a break. You reader, are not a failure, are not inadequate, are no too immature or responsible enough, because you need a time out. However long that time out is. I am not the best example of believeing this all the time. But I know it is true.
Whose standards do you live up to? God's. And he hasn't rejected you because you couldn't handle it. He hasn't rejected you because you needed Him. He loves me! He loves you! And rest is OKAY. A break is OKAY. You only fail when you give up. Resting is not equal to giving up. Finding something new does not equal giving up.
Someone, remind me to read my own words the next time I am stuck in no-rest-for-the-weary, I-can't handle-school-stress-or-my-life mode. By that point, rest is long overdue.
This is me sharing what I have learned, in hopes to remind myself of it, and in hopes of sharing my struggles to anyone who may think they are alone.
Matthew 11:28-- "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Jeremiah 31:25-- "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Getting Started
Everyone who knows me knows I love to talk. I thought this would be a cool way to share some of my thoughts and day to day adventures, especially with family and friends that don't see me too often. God has blessed me in this life.
My originial plan was to call it "choosing happy" but that was taken. One of the first synonyms for happy is "blessed," which I thought was kind of cool. One of the things that I have learned since being in college is that I choose my attitude. When life happens, I can determine whether it ruins my day or not. And once I realized this, I was in a better mood more of the time! I learned to be a "big girl," and learned what it really means to live life for the glory of God.
Even if no one keeps up with this, that is fine with me! I think it will be a great way for me to track and save my thoughts and life moments. "Choosing Fearless" is something I need to do more of. What does that mean really? Well, to me it means trusting God fully and always, not fearing His plan for me, and not letting anything get in my way from showing the world God's love. (Which I hope to do with my career in nursing, another post for another day.)
So that's that.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
-2 Timothy 1:7
My originial plan was to call it "choosing happy" but that was taken. One of the first synonyms for happy is "blessed," which I thought was kind of cool. One of the things that I have learned since being in college is that I choose my attitude. When life happens, I can determine whether it ruins my day or not. And once I realized this, I was in a better mood more of the time! I learned to be a "big girl," and learned what it really means to live life for the glory of God.
Even if no one keeps up with this, that is fine with me! I think it will be a great way for me to track and save my thoughts and life moments. "Choosing Fearless" is something I need to do more of. What does that mean really? Well, to me it means trusting God fully and always, not fearing His plan for me, and not letting anything get in my way from showing the world God's love. (Which I hope to do with my career in nursing, another post for another day.)
So that's that.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
-2 Timothy 1:7
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